8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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