Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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