Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
