I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Couch. On fire.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
