you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
