I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
