Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
