I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
