Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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