I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
