is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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