Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
