Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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