i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
