I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
