fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
