New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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