Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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