the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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