Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
