A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
