wakey wakey hands off snakey
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
