is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
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