Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
