There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
