I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
