The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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