i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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