those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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