New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
