I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
