I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
