You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
