dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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