HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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