I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
