Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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