No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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