i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I want a musical about memes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
