and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
