Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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