Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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