I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
