The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
