hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
