so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize