i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize
