I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
