All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
