i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
