Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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