Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
