so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
