Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
