Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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