I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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