I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
