Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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