Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
