Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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