He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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