ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Actions speak louder than pants.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
