I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
you will always have a special place in my vag
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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