and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
