he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
