How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
